As Bad as an Alcoholic

It's getting close to 2014 and I'm thinking about a spending fast starting January 1st. The other day my husband who battles with a drinking problem told me that my spending was as bad as his drinking. Wow. Of course I immediately denied it but afterwards I started thinking that yes, my relationship with money is very similiar to his relationship with alcohol. Addiction to spending. No matter what good plans and intentions I have, I keep myself in denial that I have such a problem.

The spending fast will be difficult because we may be expecting another baby sometime next year. So I will make allowances beforehand about the neccessary spending with the new baby. Surprisingly, it will probably be similar to our preparations for our first child because we were going through some tough economic times during my last trimester and the first 3 months of her life. My husband got laid off and it took 7 weeks for me to get my first disability check from EDD so we basically had no income for 2 months! Fortunately, we had a baby shower and received tons of baby things and also we received many hand-me-downs from other friends. We didn't buy anything for the baby until she was like 4 months old. And that was our 1st baby. So it's possible. It will be soooo much easier now that I know what I'm doing! First time mom's have no idea what to plan for.

I will not buy anything until the 3rd trimester 
because we need to wait until after the baby shower and see if there are any hand me downs.

Allowances for 2014:

New baby allowances (ask around for FREE hand-me-downs):
Double stroller (used) = $50
Carseat = look into government programs. Ask for hand-me-downs.
Crib and mattress (used) = $100
Bassinet = consider using/adding to our pack n play.
Changing table = either use what we have been using or consider using pack n play.
Swing/Bouncy/Walker = ask around for hand-me-downs.
Clothes = don't buy any! Only use what we receive as gifts.
Diapers = don't buy any! Use the disposables or gift cards we receive as gifts to purchase newborn disposable diapers. Then when he/she grows use our cloth diapers we saved. If it is a boy, we may purchase  1 or 2 boy colored diaper covers but at home he can wear Noemi's old diaper covers. = $30
Nursing Bra = buy one good new nursing bra $25
Nursing Tank = look for one at thrift stores $5 Also, use my old grey one.
Storage Space = for the time being, we will have the kids share the existing dresser. Before the baby comes I want to purge/organize all the storage locations we have to maximize the space more.

Once we receive all the gifts, do NOT take all the tags off. Sort through and see how much we REALLY need. We don't need 30 newborn sleepers. (This is where not being a 1st time mom is really great! I know what we need) Return what we can and what we can't sell at Once Upon a Child.
Inevitably there will be some items we will want to buy after the baby is born once we get to know his/her needs and we will try to use strictly gift cards or revenue from returns/selling clothes for that. Everything else we can use Noemi's hand-me-downs.

Maternity Clothes:
Buy only used maternity clothes. My allowance for all my maternity clothes for 2014 is $100. Which doesn't seem like alot but if I buy thrifted its alot especially if I take advantage of 50% sale days. I will look for functional, coordinating, comfortable clothes that match alot of things. This will be difficult for me for the convention. "Make Due and Mend"

Postnatal Clothes:Okay I know how much I will be wanting to wear new clothes at this time. I hated having to wear my maternity clothes after I had the baby last time. I will allow myself $50 at the thrift store. That's it. "Make Due and Mend"

Clothes for Noemi:
Now I am realizing she does not need a whole wardrobe every season. We will try to make what she has now last as long as possible, which will be easy with her dresses. When we do buy her new clothes or shoes it will be on 50% off days at the thrift store. If we cannot find any dresses at the thrift store for assemblies, we can buy some at Once Upon a Child. "Make Due and Mend." $100

Family Photos:
Towards the end of next year I want to do family photos. Use a groupon. Plus frame. Wear clothes we already have. $50
Professional Photos of Noemi:
Groupon + frame. Clothes we already have. $40


We will wait for professional photos of the new baby until they can sit up on their own, so 2015.

Party for Noemi:
When I'm up to it, maybe before baby #2 maybe after I don't know, I want to throw another party for Noemi. Budget is $100

Gifts:
This is where I can really get into trouble! We have 7 people graduating, 1 wedding, my parents 30 year anniversary, our anniversary and who knows what else! Lets put a rule that every gift must be HANDMADE or gift cards. That will help keep the expenses down. Let's do $60 graduation gifts, Sulamita's gift can be $25, wedding gift $20, parents anniversary gift $20, our anniversary $20. = $150

Hair:
I can get my hair done twice next year. Do not get blonde so that we don't have so much maintenance. $200

Family Vacation:
We already are going to a cabin in January or February which is going to end up costing like $400. Yikes. I'm going to be really pregnant during the summer probably and have a newborn in the fall. Maybe just a day trip or two? Yosemite miraght be a good idea thats like $70. So $470

Hospitality:
I really want to continue doing hospitality for CO visit and speakers. Also I would like to invite one encouraging family per month to our house for dinner. I can allow $20 extra per visit, the rest should be covered by grocery money. These are important for our family's spirituality and happiness. So 18x20 = $360

Race for the Cure:
I may or may not want to do this but if I do, $30

Trips to Georgia:I think that because I will be pregnant and we don't want to spend lots of money that we should not go to Georgia this year :(

Apple Hill and the State Fair:These are family traditions and I don't want to miss them. Apple Hill we should bring a picnic lunch and only buy 1 food item each $30. State fair we can eat there because that's part of the fun $70 = $100

Playdates and Field Trips:
While I want to focus on free children's activities like the park and the library, every now and then I want to allow for a special trip to a museum or play area. Once a month I allow $15 for this = $180

That's all I can think of now. It sounds like alot but it is for the entire year. Each thing on this list is important to me. $2140 for the whole year plus bills, so only $178 per month.

Monthly bills = About $300
Allowances = $178 average monthly
= $478
Roughly $500 can go to Fawn or savings each month.

When we get our tax return it goes completely into these "envelopes".
I will write on the outside of each envelope the allowance stipulations. On the other side of the envelope I will write a log of how much per month is allowed and when it is reached each month I will cross off the month. I will also check off each time the envelope is "paid" each month.

The savings goal is a minivan! We can afford a used Toyota or Honda minivan for around $10,000 if we sell our current car and add it to the savings from 2014. We could also wait until March 2015 and use our tax return money to add to the car money and purchase then instead. It will be tight with 2 car seats but we can make it work a couple months before we buy the minivan.

I'd like to stay in our current house for the next two years, even though it will be tight. 2015's savings goal could be a truck for Juan and $2,000 for security deposits and first and last on the next house.

First Post

I am not a blogger. This is mainly a place that I can organize my thoughts for myself. A place of reflection and a way for me to stay on track. I have read the entire blog andthenwesaved.com  from when it started and have been wanting to do something similar. I thought it was reasonable to apply some of the advice and do a modified "Spending Diet" but lets be honest here I can't do that. I need to go all or nothing here. The only question is when to start? Should I wait until January 1st or should I start sooner? Hmmm.... in the meantime I wanted to write down motivation for myself to stick with this. Reasons I need to get out of debt and start saving:

1) Peace of mind
2) Mobility
3) Now that I am a mother I need to be more fiscally responsible in case of emergencies
4) We need a replacement vehicle soon and I don't want to finance it again
5) I would like to become homeowners one day
6) I need to start a savings for our daughter
7) I need to start saving for retirement
8) I would like to be more financially stable before we have another baby

For the most part, we have been good about not creating more debt. I say for the most part because about annually I will justify maxing out one of my smaller ($200 or $300) credit cards once and paying it back. This sounds much more irresponsible now that I see it in black and white than it has in my mind.

I have realized that even though I really would like to have another baby right now, we should be more financially stable before we should start trying. I mean seriously, we haven't even paid off the midwife yet from the first baby and she is 1 year old. If anything I would like to have her $3,000 in cash to give her for the next baby instead of having to pay in installments like this again.

Also, I feel like if I forced myself to not purchase anything I would free up some of my precious time. I know around convention time I will be all consumed figuring out the perfect outfits which are WAY out of my budget. Consumed is the appropriate term. I will spend every extra hour I have to spare looking online at every store. Eventually I end up talking myself into buying something like $200 boots or a $80 sweater. Once I get the outfits all purchased (usually with money I should be using for other things or with the above mentioned credit cards) I don't get near as much joy from them as I should have for so many hours spent picking them out. Then I feel guilt. I vow I will not do it again. Then a month or two later there is another event on the horizon and it starts all over again. It's just one big cycle.

Here are some rules I have thought of for my Spending Fast:

1. Avoid Etsy and Target like they are the plague.
2. Only purchase coffee if I am with friends. Bring coffee from home instead.
3. Only for assemblies will I allow myself to buy clothing and it must be USED. No casual clothing will be purchased. No shoes will be purchased.
4. Noemi's clothes will also be USED only. I will only purchase her outfits for assemblies (used) and at the beginning of a new season I will purchase her new "wardrobe" on a sale day at Thrift Town and/or at the JBF consignment sale. No new clothing or shoes. I allow myself to purchase 1 new hair accesory per assembly.
5. We are allowed one family vacation in the whole year. It will be similar to our Santa Cruz trip where we make our own food most of the time and do mostly free activities. It will be a destination that is nearby and doesn't cost much to drive to. I will not purchase new clothing for this trip.

That is all for now.